时间旅行者的自传

最近一直都很忙。

忙着走马观花,

忙着打工,

忙着学习。

忙着穿越,

从一个时空到另一个时空。

旅行的时间越长,

对时间的概念就变得越模糊。

我记不清自己的年龄,

只是鬓角渐白,

气力越衰。

途里遇到无数个过客,

带给我片刻的欢笑,

或长久的幻想。

然而路依然在脚下,

我不能停止这穿越。

因为我是时间旅行者。

2013 年 9 月

原来你真的在这里

总是寻找,
某个神秘的踪迹,
是梦里的一个幻影,
与我不曾有过交集,
让我不停地怀疑,
甚至默默地恐惧,

我猜测她是我
前尘伤心裂胆离别白发的愁绪,
后世剪不断理不清混沌的回忆,
抑或
今生最清澈见底牵肠挂肚的,
略有所闻却不甚了解的真情。

或许她已消失逝去,
在某个路口,
回眸然后擦肩离去;
或许出生早一个世纪,
被时间判了无期徒刑。

也许我无知的偏激
感动了各方的神明,
给我伤感的命运一个有效的回应,
若一颗夏日清晨落入人间的流星,
让我暴尸荒野风蚀成沙漠的信念,
骤然绿树成荫逐渐变成一片森林。

你就是我魂牵梦绕的幻影,
是我前尘不能自已的悲剧,
是我后世不能理解的欢喜,
是我今生不能错过的爱情。

我荒凉的怀疑终于被揭去,
只因在这忙碌拥挤的世界,
我找到了你,
然后你告诉了我:
不用担心,我在这里。
原来你真的在这里。

2009 年 11 月

Once I had an apple 曾经我有个苹果

I was young,       

我还小

I found a small green apple,         

我捡到了一个苹果

it was green like beryl.            

绿色的,翡翠一样。

it was small,            

它很小,

but special,       

对于从未见过苹果的孩子,

for a boy never seen an apple,          

很特别,

I keep it in the pocket which close to my heart.     

我把它放在最靠近心脏的荷包。


it grows. 

它长大,

getting redder.

变红,

its smell’s getting better.

慢慢透出芳香,

I put it out of my pocket,

我把它拿出我的荷包,

watch it,

看着它,

smell it.

闻着它,

Then I put it back to the pocket which close to my heart.

然后把它放回最靠近心脏的荷包。


It grows,

它长大,

like a seed,

像颗种子,

rooting into my chest,

在我胸腔生根,

beating with my blood.

伴我血液跳动。

I put it out of my pocket,

我把它拿出荷包,

kiss it,

亲吻它,

it was fresh and sweet.

新鲜甜蜜。

Then I put it back to the pocket which close to my heart.

然后我把它放回最靠近心脏的荷包。


It grows,

它长大,

I grew up,

我也长大,

my dearest apple,

可是我最亲爱的苹果,

but I have to travel.

我将要远行。

I cannot carry you on the trip,

我不能带着你,

so I kept you home.

只能留你家中。

I flew on a big bird,

我骑上了一只大鸟,

With tears in my eyes.

眼里都是泪。

I could not  feel my apple,

我摸不到我的苹果,

but I will keep the place for my dearest apple.

但我会把这个荷包留给它。


The trip is long,

路途很长,

and I could not see the end.

我看不到终点。

my stupid eyes,

我愚蠢的双眼,

wept and dried.

湿润然后干涸。

My pocket is hollow,

我的荷包很空,

Because there is not my apple.

因为里面没有我的苹果。


Birds, birds,

鸟们,鸟们,

If you could speak,

如果你能说话

Can you go to my home,

能不能去我家

and tell my apple

告诉我的苹果

that I am hollow enough to fly like a balloon?

空虚把我变成了会飞的气球。


I arrived a land,

我到达了一块陆地。

it is cold and remote.

这里很冷,也很遥远。

but the worse is,

更不幸的是,

I could not see my apple.

我看不到我的苹果。

I slept in the snow where my tears froze.

我睡在雪里,雪冰冻了我的泪。

I tumbled on the ice where my heart getting cold.

我摔在冰上,冰冷藏了我的心。

Night was long,

夜很长,

and where is my apple?

而我的苹果在哪里?

I could not feel it where closest to my soul.

甚至在心灵深处,我也感受不到它。


Spring came,

春天来了,

spring passed,

春天去了。

I was getting strong.

我变壮了,

The pocket is still hollow,

我的荷包还是空的,

and I have been used to.

而我已经习惯了。


I walk,

走,

I run,

跑,

I smile,

笑,

I drank.

醉。

I wondered,

有时惊愕,

and puzzled.

有时迷惑。

I asked myself,

我问我自己

Where is your apple?

你的苹果在哪里?

I don’t know. 我不知道


I climbed mountain,

我爬山,

and fell,

摔倒了,

in a forest,

落入一个森林,

spooky and dark.

阴森黑暗。

I was hungry,

我饿了,

and thirst tearing my soul.

干渴折磨着我的灵魂。

I saw some mushrooms,

我看到了一些蘑菇,

but they were too colorful to swallow.

但是它们太鲜艳怕是有毒。

I hide in the shadow,

躲在树荫,

asking myself,

问自己,

where is my apple?

我苹果在哪里?

My pocket is so hollow.

我的荷包还是这么空。

I was lost, 我迷失了,

lonely and horror.

寂寞而且恐惧。


Slowly,

慢慢地,

I survived,

我像

like a caveman

原始人一样

living in the jungle.

幸存在丛林里。

When I have some time,

闲的时候,

I painted my apple,

我画我的苹果。

I painted it on the earth,

我在地上画,

I painted it on the rock. 

我在石上画。

My dearest apple,

我最亲爱的苹果。

where are you?

你在哪里?

I could not feel you because I am getting old?

我感觉不到你, 是因为我已经老了吗?


Bird, bird;

鸟儿, 鸟儿,

if you could speak,

如果你会说话,

have you seen my apple?

你看见过我的苹果吗?

Yes, I can.

我能说话。

Your apple is gone.

你的苹果已经不在了。

If it is not rotten, then it is taken.

如果没烂的话就是被人拿走了。

But it is my apple.

但是那是我的苹果。

No, not anymore.

现在不是了。

Time flies,

day passes,

I still remember,

Once I had an apple…

2009 年 4 月